Why Can't I See What He Does?
Chapter 17
I was slowly drifting in and out of sleep as I laid there bored in my hospital bed. I couldn’t wait for Kevin to get back and save me from my boredom. As I was just on the verge of sleep, I heard a knock at my door. “Come in,” I said as I sat up. Cindy walked in.
“How you feeling?” she asked me kindly as she walked over to my bed. I smiled.
“Much better; are you in here to tell me that I can get out of this bed now?” I asked, my voice willed with optimism. She gave me the sympathy smile that I knew all too well; I grimaced.
“Aw honey, don’t worry; today will be your last day cooped up in this bed. Tomorrow you’ll be able to go home for awhile and everything will be back to normal,” she said, almost as if she was trying to hint at something, but I just let it slide for the moment.
“Good; I hate just sitting here all day. If it wasn’t for Kevin I think I’d go mad,” I complained; it was now her turn to grimace.
“Honey, you know I’ll always be here for you…no matter what?” she asked as she sat down on my bed next to me. I could only smile at her.
“Of course I know that Cindy,” I gently patted her hand. Cindy sat there and talked with me for a couple more minutes until we heard a knock at our door.
“Come in,” I called, only to see a worried looking Kevin walk in to my room. I watched as he looked at Cindy and then at me. She gave him a slight nod before saying, “I think I’ll give you two some privacy,” and she left the room.
“Are you ok, Kevin? You don’t look very well,” I commented as he walked over to my bed and gently sat down next to me.
“No, Alana, I’m not ok,” he said as he softly took my hand. I began to feel sick. I had no idea what he was going to tell me, but I knew it wasn’t good.
“What’s wrong?” I could barely mumble out as I tried to look into his eyes; he just avoided my eye contact.
“Alana,” he took a deep breath, “my family and I…we’re…going back home…tomorrow,” he finished in a whisper so soft that I had to strain to hear him. Not once did he look me in the eyes…he didn’t even look at my face.
How could he? He promised he wouldn’t do this; he promised he wouldn’t make me fall for him and then just leave me. He promised he just wouldn’t up and leave…
I could feel the tears burn my eyes as I struggled to find my voice.
“Get out,” I whispered harshly as the tears started to fall. I couldn’t stand this…I didn’t want to see him, and if he was just willing to give up on me so easily…on us…then fine. Let him leave, and let him leave now.
“What?! Alana, you have to believe me; this isn’t my choice. My family is going back home because Nick is sick. He needs to be at home with our family physician, so he can be properly taken care of,” Kevin tried to explain to me.
“Oh, so now you aren’t just getting up and leaving me, like you promised you wouldn’t, but you’re going to sit here and insult the hospital that I work at? Is my hospital not good enough for millionaire rock stars? Fine then, just go,” I couldn’t believe what I was saying. I’ve never told off a guy like this before, especially one that I had come to love so much, but I just couldn’t stand it. He was breaking my heart in two…my heart that had been hurt so many times before…I thought he was different.
“Alana,” he almost begged as he gently placed his hands on each side of my face, “please listen to me. I don’t want to leave you. I don’t want to leave the girl that I love with all my heart, but my family is going…and I have to go with them,” he said sadly.
I swatted his hands away and pushed against his body to get him off my bed.
“Get out, Kevin,” I demanded as the tears fell harder, but he wouldn’t budge.
“No,” he stated sternly as he tried to grab my hands. He successfully succeeded in grabbing one of my wrists, which only caused me to become more upset. It only reminded me of the many times my ex had done the exact same thing, right before he hit me. I was getting so angry…so furious…I did something I never thought I’d do…I smacked him.
I couldn’t help but break down into sobs as I looked up at Kevin’s horror-struck face. I could see behind his eyes, not anger towards me, but only sadness.
“Just go now,” I whimpered as I rolled over in my bed facing away from him. I could faintly hear his footsteps as he headed towards the exit. Finally, I heard the sound that confirmed my heartbreak...the slam of my hospital room door.
