Why Can't I See What He Does?
Chapter 5
When I got home that night I was so exhausted. Lucky for me my roommate wasn’t home yet. I love my roommate, but when she’s home I can never sleep. She always has her friends over and everyone is just so loud. So I took advantage of her not being here, I dropped my bags at the door and went straight to bed.
I woke up to my phone ringing. I looked at it to see who was calling. It was my friend Carolyn. I answered, “Hello?”
“Hey Alana!” I sighed, she was so loud. “Hey Care,” I said still a little groggy. “Do you want to go get some coffee?” So tired…I do need to study so maybe I should go. “Alright, meet me in 20?” I asked trying to get out of bed. “Sounds good little lady! See you then!!” She was always so loud, but hey, I love her.
After getting up and getting ready (nothing too fancy, its only coffee) I grabbed my keys and was out the door. When I got to the coffee shop, I didn’t see Carolyn’s truck, so I went inside and sat down. I went to look for my iPod, but then I remembered I gave it to Nick for awhile. Oh well, it doesn’t matter. I rested my head in my hand and closed my eyes. For some reason I was just so tired, and I had no idea why. I started to drift off but as soon as I did Carolyn dropped her purse on the table causing me to jolt awake.
“Hi Alanaaaaa,” my friend greeted me. “Hey Care Bear.”
“What’s the matter with you? Why are you so tired?” Carolyn looked concerned. Aw, see even if she is loud she still loves me, which just made me love her more. “It’s nothing really. I think it’s just class and work, they are finally catching up to me.”
“Well, let’s get some coffee and make you feel all better,” Care said while rubbing my back. I closed my eyes. Wow, that feels good. I didn’t want to stand up, but she stopped. I sighed and finally stood up. We got in line and order our coffee. We got it, sat back down, and just started talking.
Suddenly, I noticed a guy that walked in. He was wearing a hat and sun glasses. That’s weird. It’s night time, why would anyone wear sun glasses? I looked at him, and then he smiled at me. Carolyn noticed. “Alana, that creepy guy just smiled at you!” She tried to whisper. “Shh!” I was so embarrassed. What if he heard her? Oh goodness. I tried not to look at him. Care was just laughing, enjoying how embarrassed I was. “Oh come on, Alana. When’s the last time you even thought about dating?” I gave her a look that told her to stop where she was going. “Care, you know why I don’t date anymore.” I hope she’ll drop this, although, she doesn’t know the full story; she does know that I’m not looking for a relationship right now. I took a sip of my coffee, and then I heard Care ask, “Alana, do you want to get married some day?” I almost spit my coffee everywhere, but instead I just started choking a little.
Care patted my back, and finally when I got my coughing under control the creepy guy came over to our table. “Are you alright, Miss?” he asked with a smile. I looked at him, concentrating on his voice. Hmm, that voice sounds so familiar. I look at his face, I knew that smile anywhere. “Kevin?” I asked quietly. His face lit up. “I heard you coughing. Are you alright, m’lady?” I blushed madly, but nodded. “Yes, thank you. Wanna sit down?” I asked looking up at him. He nodded and sat down.
I saw Carolyn trying to make eye contact with me. “Kevin, this is my friend Carolyn, Carolyn this is my new friend Kevin.” She stuck out her hand, “Nice to meet you Carolyn,” Kevin took her hand and shook it. For some reason, this made me a little jealous. I started to look around the room to take my mind off things. I noticed people looking at Kevin…oh; it must be cause of the sun glasses.
I gently placed my hand on Kevin’s, “um, Kev…people are staring at you,” I whispered to him. I saw him look down at my hand lying on top of his. I quickly removed my hand. Oh no, maybe he doesn’t want me to touch him. Or maybe he likes Carolyn now and doesn’t want her to think we are together. My thoughts were interrupted when I felt his fingertips gently slide across the top of my hand, underneath the table. My face turned a little pink, and I tried to control my breathing. His touch felt so gentle and sweet.
“Yeah, people always stare. Trust me, its better they stare at me for my outfit instead of…you know,” he whispered the last part only so I could hear. I tried to concentrate on what he was saying. Why did he always do this? What was the matter with me? I haven’t even known this guy for one full day, and yet he was giving me crazy butterflies in my stomach and making me blush every chance he got.
That’s it! He is a rock star. That is what they do to girls like me. They try to dazzle them every way they can, and right when they have the poor girl under their finger, they make a move. Well, I can promise you that I will not be just one of those girls!
As soon as I thought about the ‘one night stand girls’ I quickly snatched my hand away from his. Kevin looked like I had just slapped him in the face, but I tried not to pay any attention to it. I noticed Care saw something going on between me and Kevin.
“Oh well, I think I’m gonna hit the road, ok Alana?” My eyes grew huge. She was going to leave me here, alone with him. Before I had a chance to beg her to stay, she told Kevin good bye and was out the door.
Kevin and I were stuck together now, and it just felt so awkward. “So…” he started, trying to break the silence. I remembered Nick. “How’s Nick doing?” I asked before he had a chance to say anything.
“He’s doing well. Everyone at the hospital has been so nice.”
“Good, I’m glad.” Silence…
All of a sudden…
“Alana, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you in any way. I would never do that.” I put my hand up to stop his talking. “Kevin, please. Don’t.” He looked confused. “Can I just ask you one thing?” he looked desperate. I sighed, but nodded.
“Why did you snatch your hand away like that?” he had such a sad look on his face, it almost broke my heart. Now I was trying not to look him in the face.
“Kevin, I’m sorry, but we’ve only known each other for a day. Moving that quickly is asking for trouble.” I told him in all honesty.
“Romeo and Juliet agreed to be married after only their first day of knowing each other.” I looked at him a bit taken back.
“Yes, and we all know how that story ends.” I told him sadly. A couple of months ago I would have been putty in his hands by now. I use to be a hopeless romantic, that is until the day that I learned that love is not the answer to everything. Love can’t take away all the pain; love can’t fix every problem thrown your way. Relationships take more than love. They take a commitment, which in the past I was willing to give, but no one ever gave me the same consideration.
I sighed. “I’m sorry. You probably feel like I led you on.” He looked confused. “How did you lead me on?” I kept looking down at my hands. “Well, I gave you my phone number…” I trailed off.
I could hear the smile in his voice, “Yeah, but I would hardly call that leading someone on.” This made me feel a little better. I was debating if I should tell him the truth or not. “Kevin…” I started. I could feel his eyes on me, so I looked up a little to see he was still wearing his sun glasses. “Please take those off,” I asked him, “I wanna tell you why I feel this way.”
Kevin took off his sun glasses, and I was glad that I could finally see his eyes. “Kevin, you’re in a famous band. I have trust issues. Even if we did start to date, I don’t think it would work out, so let’s just skip the pain and not even try.” He looked concerned.
“Someone really hurt you in the past didn’t they?” I looked Kevin in the eyes. He just looked so caring, like he wanted to take all my pain away. Maybe he isn’t like all those other celebrities you read about in magazines. Maybe he would treat me the way I deserve to be treated.
“How about this…” Kevin started, “My family and I are going to be here for awhile I think. We’re going to stay not only until Nick gets better, but my parents said we deserve a well earned rest. So, how about we at least get to know each other a little better? Tomorrow, after your classes let’s go hang out, just me and you.”
I thought about this for a minute. “Like a date?” I asked. “If that’s what you want to call it, or you can call it just friends hanging out, whichever one you prefer. In all honesty though, I prefer it be called a date,” he told me with a sly grin.
I was so happy to see that smile that it actually caused me to grin. I sighed, still smiling. “Alright then, tomorrow we have a date,” I told him matter-of-factly. We then decided that it was getting late and we both needed to head home. We picked up our coffees and headed for the door. Kevin walked me to my car and before I got in he hugged me. While holding me in his arms I heard him whisper quietly, “I promise you, I will never hurt you.” I pulled back a little to look him in the face. I could tell by the look in his eyes he was not lying to me. For the first time in a long time I was actually starting to trust a man again.
